I had a lady once tell me that she didn't think it was fair that my life was so easy, with the perfect little family and no problems. She said this to me in a very mean, disrespectful way and all I wanted to do was roll my eyes and punch her in the face... but instead my eyes filled up with tears. Before reacting to her, I thought to myself that if she had any idea of the struggles that I've faced throughout my life, she would never of said that to me. Instead, she would probably hug me, bring me dinner, fold all my laundry, rub my feet and watch my kids for a week . I held back from punching her and I just smiled and said "my life isn't even close to perfect", and then changed the subject.
Although I feel incredibly blessed with the life I have been given, I could write a very long list about all the things that have gone wrong. I could talk about these things for days and months and I'm sure I would get some sweet sympathy out of it. Of course I would never do that because I know that negativity and complaining only brings out more sadness and more problems. I have worked so hard to get to where I am today. It's been a tough road, but now I can say that I have gotten past my insecurities, have let things go from my past and have deleted the desire to please others when it's not in my best interest. I have forgiven people who have done me wrong and I've gotten to a place where I can listen to my inner voice and be guided by it on a daily basis. I decided a few years ago that I wanted an extremely fulfilling life and mediocrity was not acceptable. I wanted to be a positive, happy, successful, kind and loving person no matter what came along. It's a challenge to live this way at times, but I find life so rewarding because of it. I definitely fail over and over again, but I never think of myself as a failure. I am very patient with myself and I try to learn and grow from each negative or positive experience that comes my way. So today I've decided to blog about staying positive, even when things get tough and you feel there is no hope.
Through all of my trials, I have learned a thing or two or three or four...these are crucial in finding happiness and joy within yourself.
1. Never and yes I mean NEVER say anything bad about yourself. I don't care if it's true or not, but do not do it! Not even if you are joking or being sarcastic, because your body doesn't know the difference. I promise this will change your mood, your day and your life. You will find this very difficult at first, but just try to notice all the times that you would say something negative about yourself and stop yourself before it comes out of your beautiful mouth! I believe that if you tell yourself you are fat, then you will be. If you tell yourself that you are a bad mom, then you will be. If you tell yourself that you are freaking awesome then YOU WILL BE! This is where number two comes in...
2. I AM statements. This is when you tell yourself "I AM happy", "I AM healthy", "I AM motivated", "I AM patient", "I AM a great runner (one I've been working on)". Even if these aren't true, (most of mine aren't true at the time) still say them and repeat them a few times a day. Anything that you want to do or become, say it in this order I AM...and fill in the blank. What happens is your brain tells your body what to do, and you tell your brain what to do. I know it sounds a little cooky, but it works!! I do this every single day, especially before bed because if you say your I AM statements right before you are about to go to sleep, then it stays in your subconscious the entire night and therefore comes to reality much quicker. I use this tool with my kids on a daily basis too...if they are being mean to their sibling, or if they have a bad attitude, I make them repeat after me and I tell them what to say. For example, "I AM nice to my brother", "I AM smart", or "I AM amazing at cleaning my room". It changes their attitude almost every single time. Also, you can never say I AM NOT something...it can only be a positive sentence.
3. Take a complement!!! When someone says "you look so nice today", you say "awww...thanks so much" or "that's nice of you to say" even if you don't feel like you look nice...It will feel awkward at first to talk this way, but you'll get used to it. Never, never, NEVER say "No I don't...This outfit is old, my hair is dirty and I ran out of my good makeup so you can see all my ugly wrinkles, I feel fat in these clothes, and look how giant this zit is on my cheek and oh my heck look at my nails...and don't even get me started on how messy my house is!!" We are all guilty of doing this, but the end result is sadness. Please just LOVE yourself. I promise this will trickle down into all aspects of your life and it WILL make you a happier person.
4. My mom would always say, "there is only one rule and that is Be Kind"...it seems like everything important falls under that category. Even if it seems like someone has the perfect, ideal life...they don't. EVERYONE is struggling with something and you never know what kind of chaos is happening around them...so be kind and patient to anyone you come in contact with. Keep this in mind when you are driving and someone cuts you off, in the check out line behind the lady with 100 coupons, when you see someone who looks scary, or someone who is drop dead gorgeous (yes, they have feelings too), to your neighbors and definitely to all of your loved ones (which sometimes seems to be the hardest). A smile and a simple hello is all someone might need to make their day drastically better. When you live your life this way the kindness will circle back around to you and you will have blessings beyond your comprehension.
I was feeling a little down as I drove home from the gym this morning, but not really sure why. Was it because of the insane ass kicking that I had just received in my favorite boot camp class??...or from lack of sleep, or just the fact that life seems to be so hard lately. At the same time of feeling lost and ready to give up, I looked up into the sky and saw the most beautiful dark clouds with a glorious light shining through them. I quickly grabbed my phone and snapped this picture. I instantly felt my Heavenly Fathers overwhelming love for me and the thought came to me, When darkness surrounds you, be the light that shines through it...for all of the world to see. I want to be that light. I hope to be that light. I AM that light.
I wish for happiness, peace and love in each of your lives.