A few of my favorite Self Improvement books…

Written by Lyndi. Posted in About Me, Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

If you have ever been to my house and have seen my bookshelf, you would know that I am a FREAK about finding the best self improvement books.   When I go to Barnes & Noble, I go directly to the Self Help section and I have no interest in looking in any other area of the store (my family and friends just shake their head :) )  I've always had the desire and have enjoyed the process of figuring out how to improve in different areas of my life.

My self improvement books have a wide range from learning how to raise kids, strengthen relationships, to find inner peace, live for today,  find joy in life (no matter what you have experienced) and self love.  Some would say that I'm like a Pollyanna, cause I REALLY want to have an insane amount of love, joy, peace and happiness in my life (I know... that sounds like a Christmas card) every single day and all year around.  I mean really...is that too much to ask?!?  I don't think so!  I believe that you can have this and whatever else you desire, as long as it is good in nature.  The process of how to learn to create a happy, fulfilling life is not an easy one...but one that is definitely worth it.  I have been reading these kinds of books for years and have read the same ones over and over again and I still struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY!  Whenever I have days of sadness, feeling negative or impatient, are the days that I need to read these books even more.  They have helped me pull out of deep depressing days and have guided me to my happy places of light and joy.

 

This book by Wayne Dyer is my current favorite.  I bought the book on CD and I listen to it while I'm driving around with the kids or when I am traveling.  This will inspire you to the core...it's a little deep, but if you take his words of advice, you WILL be undoubtedly successful and happy in your life.

best self improvement books

This is another one of my favorite self help books. It an amazing story about a women who had a near death experience while experiencing cancer that had spread to every part of her body and all of her organs were shut down.  She talks about her experience in heaven and her choice to come back to earth and heal.  She was cancer free within a few weeks of her near death experience.  Truly inspirational...

my favorite self help books

The Five Love Language Books are some of my all time favorites!  I love them because they help you understand why people do what they do.  In relationships trying to understand what makes your significant other tick is key...this book helps you figure that out and how to appropriately respond to them.  The five love languages are: Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Quality Time.  We each have 2 main love languages and that is basically how we feel love.  For example, mine are Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation.  If someone went and washed my car for me to be nice,  that shows love more to me than if they bought me something.  Don't get me wrong, I love it when people buy things for me, but the thought behind it truly means more to me than the monetary value.  Gary Chapman has released these books for relationships with a spouse, child or teenager.  He also came out a singles edition and one just for men.  Highly recommend. 

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A friend of mine told me about this book and I literally just finished reading it last night.  I loved Blair Singers message and it seems to be a pretty simple concept.  I thoroughly enjoyed how he writes,  it felt like I was having a conversation with him throughout the entire book.   He has a gift of making things very clear and he focuses on helping you stop listening to all the little voices in your head (aka other peoples opinions or long held beliefs).  This book helps you to see the importance of not worrying about what other people think, to become more self aware and it also helps you get on a path of fulfillment in your life.  I absolutely loved reading this book!!

self mastery and improvement books

I have listened to and read this book over and over and over and over and over again...once again, it's a little deep, but oh so powerful.  It really is a self help book that changed my life.  spiritual healing and self help books

When I began my quest of Spiritual Enlightenment, this is the first self improvement book I read.  Eckhart Tolle is a miraculous person and I wish I could live like him all the time.  He helps you to live your life in the NOW, and that time is just an illusion.  Yet, there is so much more to it.  I put this on my iPod and every night before I would go to bed, I would listen to him speak.  His voice is so calming and he just makes so much sense to me. 

best books for self improvement

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Getting a little personal…

Written by Lyndi. Posted in About Me, Health & Wellness, Kids & Family Life, Life Coaching

I had a lady once tell me that she didn't think it was fair that my life was so easy, with the perfect little family and no problems.  She said this to me in a very mean, disrespectful way and all I wanted to do was roll my eyes and punch her in the face... but instead my eyes filled up with tears.  Before reacting to her,  I thought to myself that if she had any idea of the struggles that I've faced throughout my life, she would never of said that to me.  Instead, she would probably hug me, bring me dinner, fold all my laundry, rub my feet and watch my kids for a week :) .  I held back from punching her and I just smiled and said "my life isn't even close to perfect", and then changed the subject.

Although I feel incredibly blessed with the life I have been given, I could write a very long list about all the things that have gone wrong.  I could talk about these things for days and months and I'm sure I would get some sweet sympathy out of it.  Of course I would never do that because I know that negativity and complaining only brings out more sadness and more problems.  I have worked so hard to get to where I am today.  It's been a tough road, but now I can say that I have gotten past my insecurities, have let things go from my past and have deleted the desire to please others when it's not in my best interest.  I have forgiven people who have done me wrong and I've gotten to a place where I can listen to my inner voice and be guided by it on a daily basis.  I decided a few years ago that I wanted an extremely fulfilling life and mediocrity was not acceptable.  I wanted to be a positive, happy, successful, kind and loving person no matter what came along.  It's a challenge to live this way at times, but I find life so rewarding because of it.  I definitely fail over and over again, but I never think of myself as a failure.  I am very patient with myself and I try to learn and grow from each negative or positive experience that comes my way.  So today I've decided to blog about staying positive, even when things get tough and you feel there is no hope.

Through all of my trials, I have learned a thing or two or three or four...these are crucial in finding happiness and joy within yourself.

1.  Never and yes I mean NEVER say anything bad about yourself.   I don't care if it's true or not,  but do not do it!  Not even if you are joking or being sarcastic, because your body doesn't know the difference.  I promise this will change your mood, your day and your life.  You will find this very difficult at first, but just try to notice all the times that you would say something negative about yourself and stop yourself before it comes out of your beautiful mouth! I believe that if you tell yourself you are fat, then you will be.  If you tell yourself that you are a bad mom, then you will be.  If you tell yourself that you are freaking awesome then YOU WILL BE!  This is where number two comes in...

2.  I AM statements.  This is when you tell yourself "I AM happy", "I AM healthy", "I AM motivated", "I AM patient", "I AM a great runner (one I've been working on)".  Even if these aren't true, (most of mine aren't true at the time) still say them and repeat them a few times a day.  Anything that you want to do or become, say it in this order I AM...and fill in the blank.  What happens is your brain tells your body what to do, and you tell your brain what to do.  I know it sounds a little cooky, but it works!!  I do this every single day, especially before bed because if you say your I AM statements right before you are about to go to sleep, then it stays in your subconscious the entire night and therefore comes to reality much quicker.   I use this tool with my kids on a daily basis too...if they are being mean to their sibling, or if they have a bad attitude, I make them repeat after me and I tell them what to say.  For example, "I AM nice to my brother", "I AM smart", or "I AM amazing at cleaning my room".  It changes their attitude almost every single time.  Also, you can never say I AM NOT something...it can only be a positive sentence. 

3.  Take a complement!!!  When someone says "you look so nice today", you say "awww...thanks so much" or "that's nice of you to say" even if you don't feel like you look nice...It will feel awkward at first to talk this way, but you'll get used to it.   Never, never, NEVER say "No I don't...This outfit is old, my hair is dirty and I ran out of my good makeup so you can see all my ugly wrinkles, I feel fat in these clothes, and look how giant this zit is on my cheek and oh my heck look at my nails...and don't even get me started on how messy my house is!!"  We are all guilty of doing this, but the end result is sadness.  Please just LOVE yourself.  I promise this will trickle down into all aspects of your life and it WILL make you a happier person. 

4.  My mom would always say, "there is only one rule and that is Be Kind"...it seems like everything important falls under that category.  Even if it seems like someone has the perfect, ideal life...they don't.  EVERYONE is struggling with something and you never know what kind of chaos is happening around them...so be kind and patient to anyone you come in contact with.  Keep this in mind when you are driving and someone cuts you off, in the check out line behind the lady with 100 coupons, when you see someone who looks scary, or someone who is drop dead gorgeous (yes, they have feelings too), to your neighbors and definitely to all of your loved ones (which sometimes seems to be the hardest).   A smile and a simple hello is all someone might need to make their day drastically better.  When you live your life this way the kindness will circle back around to you and you will have blessings beyond your comprehension. 

blog about staying positive in darkness

I was feeling a little down as I drove home from the gym this morning, but not really sure why.  Was it because of the insane ass kicking that I had just received in my favorite boot camp class??...or from lack of sleep, or just the fact that life seems to be so hard lately.   At the same time of feeling lost and ready to give up, I looked up into the sky and saw the most beautiful dark clouds with a glorious light shining through them.  I quickly grabbed my phone and snapped this picture.  I instantly felt my Heavenly Fathers overwhelming love for me and the thought came to me, When darkness surrounds you, be the light that shines through it...for all of the world to see.  I want to be that light.  I hope to be that light.  I AM that light. 

I wish for happiness, peace and love in each of your lives.

Love, Lyndi

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30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself! Best List EVER!

Written by Lyndi. Posted in Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

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If you want to be happy and find pure joy in your life, then follow this list!  Start by working on one of these everyday...I promise that it will change your life!!  As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.

  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

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11 Characteristics of a True Friend!

Written by Lyndi. Posted in About Me, Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

characteristics of a true friend

I have been blessed with countless amazing friendships in my life...I cherish my friends and I love them all so much.  To me, the characteristics of a true friend is someone who will stand by you, no matter what. Someone you can trust with your deepest secrets.  Someone who will bring you dinner and take your kids, even when you say no...just because they know that you need it. Someone that makes you feel happy when you are around them.  Someone who doesn't compete with you, but is happy for you when good things happen in your life.  Someone who will have your back and stand up for you.  Someone who doesn't get offended or jealous if you spend time with someone else. Someone who truly wants what is best for you, even if it is not best for them.  Someone who cheers you on in your life!

These are two of my very best friends and I absolutely LOVE them!  They are always there to help me out when I need it and they make me laugh so hard that I pee my pants!  They make my life fun and all around better!  I couldn't live life without you girls!!

how to be a good friend

I think the first thing that we must do to gain a true friend is to be one ourselves!  Here is a great list of 11 characteristics that can help us become a better friend. 

1. Accepts you as you are: A true friend is someone who does not try to be somebody that she is not and accepts you as you are. They are also patient with you when you make mistakes and forgive you easily. 

2. Is Dependable: A true friend is dependable and you can trust your friend with your secrets and know that he would not let a third person know about it. They stick with you in good times and bad. 

3. Is Honest: A true friend would be honest and loyal with you. She does not break the promises that she made to you. She makes you feel safe and secure with her. 

4. Listens to you: A true friend always listens to you and cares about your needs and emotions. A true friend would be there always when you need to talk. When you have news to share or grievances, she will give you her full attention.

5. Would be there for you: A true friend would be there with you through thick and thin. Good friends don’t call up people only to request a favor. But would be the first person to come to your aid in time of crisis.  

6. Gives you Space: A true friend respects your privacy. They understand that you have family, other friends and colleagues who are part of your life too and do not cling to you always. A true freind builds trust and confidence with you, which makes you comfortable enough to share your good and bad times. 

7.  Always keep in touch: True friends don’t wait for you to call them. They always makes an effort to keep in touch with you even if it is through a quick phone call or an email. They know what's going on in your life and is interested about it.  A good friend makes it clear that they care about you. 

8. Do not gossip about you: A true friend does not gossip about you or talk behind your back. A true friend is a person you can trust and won't say anything about you or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble. A good friend will also apologizes when she does something wrong. She does not hold grudges. 

9. Would be Happy for you: A true friend never gets jealous on your success but would be happy for you. She celebrates your success as her success.  A good friend will likely know how to lift your spirits and make your day.

10. Would be Supportive: A true friend is supportive of you and your goals.  She will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable. 

11. Is Giving: True friends give more than what is asked. When they see a need they respond without expecting anything in return and without anyone knowing about it. True friends are generous with their time, money, possessions and knowledge. Best of all they have a generous spirit.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have the friends that I have...you know who you are and you know that I love you and am so grateful to have you in my life!  Peace, Love & Rock and Roll to all of my friends out there!

Related Articles:

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A few of my favorite Self Improvement books…30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself! Best List EVER!10 Rules for ULTIMATE happiness

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10 Rules for ULTIMATE happiness

Written by Lyndi. Posted in About Me, Free Printables, Graphic Design, Health & Wellness, Life Coaching

I have experienced several challenges this past year, but in the end I have grown and become a much stronger person because of them.  I feel peace, have great determination and a sense of confidence in my unknown future.  I am very excited about 2014!!

I am beginning this new year with a renewed sense of what is truly important in life.  I try to live my life very simply.  I definitely make mistakes on a daily basis, but these 10 rules are what I base my life upon...and when I do, I feel complete contentment.

I wish love and happiness in each of your lives this new year and I know that if  you can follow these 10 rules, EVERYTHING else in your life will fall into place.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Love, Lyndi

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*UPDATED* I need to clarify my reasoning for number five on my list.  When I say "Give Guilt the Bird", I mean you shouldn't let other people's ideas and opinions determine how you live your life.  Make choices based on what you feel is right and what is good for YOU!  Don't worry about what others think and don't let them have control over your life.  There is definitely a time and a place to feel regret and guilt when you have done something wrong...but when this happens, don't be hard on yourself.  It is the perfect learning opportunity to know that you should change that behavior so you don't feel that way again. 

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My uplifting quotes for today…Free Download

Written by Lyndi. Posted in Free Printables, Graphic Design, Life Coaching

I usually have a pretty good attitude on life.  I am a positive person naturally and I like to look on the bright side of things in most cases...but some days just suck and I would like to hit the fast forward button!  I have tried to train myself on these low point days, to change my mindset and to create a different situation.  I believe that we can create whatever we want in life.  These are 2 of my favorite quotes that help me on days like this and keep my head above water.  Stay Awesome!!! Download for free below.start being awesomecreating yourselflovelyndi

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The Reason Why…

Written by Lyndi. Posted in About Me, Health & Wellness, Interior Design, Life Coaching

Today, you are going to learn a little more about why I am who I am and where I get my inspiration from.  

I had a good childhood, an incredibly sweet and loving mom,  two very protective older brothers (who would gladly beat up any boy that would look at me) and a sweet younger sister that I was very close to.  I was independent and mature for my age as a teenager.  I got my first official job at 14 (had to lie about my age to get it), bought my first car at 15, finished high school at 16, was going to college at 17 and got married at 18.  Oh my GOODNESS, is that crazy?!? By the way, I do not recommend that for anyone!

Throughout my life, I have always had a very special person to encourage, teach, inspire and love me...it was my auntie Kathy.   Her husband passed away when she was pregnant with her first baby, so she was a single mom and I was able to spend countless summers and holidays with her and her son Tyler.  They lived in California and I lived in Utah, but she would have me come stay with her for weeks at a time.  During those visits, she would make me feel like I was the most important person in the world to her (I realize now that she did this with all of her nieces and nephews).   She taught me to be responsible for my actions, to be strong, to not be taken advantage of, to persevere, to delay gratification (her favorite term) to be emotionally healthy, to read self help books and most of all to laugh and have fun!   

When I became a wife and a mom,  she was always the one that I would get advice from...she knew what to do in EVERY situation.  I was incredibly close to her and I knew that no matter what mistakes I would make she would still love me, be there for me and tell me how to fix it, even if I didn't ask.  

About 5 years ago she moved to Utah, bought a new house and she wanted me to help her design and decorate it from top to bottom...of course I said YES!  The idea of hanging out with her for a week, plus buying new furniture and decor sounded like heaven.  Throughout the week of decorating, she said multiple times "you are good at this" and "you should do this professionally".  She told everyone in the family and all of her freinds that she thought I should be an interior designer...of course I liked that idea, but I didn't think it was even a possiblilty at the time.     

A few months after her house was complete and beyond beautiful, we found out that she had cancer.  She has always had great strength and determination, so I was completely convinced that she would kick cancers ass...but for once in my life, I was wrong.  She passed away 6 weeks later...It all happened so fast and I was devastated to say the least, but I also felt an incredible calmness about it.  I knew she was finally with her husband again in heaven and she was feeling no more pain or discomfort.

Since her passing, I have had an intense desire to become more like her.  After a long, challenging road of getting passed all of my insecurities I think I have finally figured out who I really am, what I can become and what my purpose is in this life.  I make decisions based on what I feel is right and not what other people think I should be doing.  It is a WONDERFUL place to be and I highly recommend it! 

I know that God lives and loves me and I feel him guiding me in my life every single day.  I believe that we all have angels that are constantly surrounding us and lifting us up when we need it and even when we don't.  I know that my Aunt Kathy is one of my angels.  She had so much encouragement and faith in me and I can now see how her hand has strongly guided me to the direction of Interior Design and writing this blog. 

She will always be a huge part of my life and whenever I am struggling with a situation, I think to myself "What would Kathy do?" and I instantly know what she would say.  I love and miss her dearly.   

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Thanksgiving 2008 - I can't believe how much younger I look only five years ago

lovelyndi

 

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